she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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