I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
