Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
