Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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