After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
