We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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