But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
