JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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