remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
