im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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