mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
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