I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
She told me I should be a condom model.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
