Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
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