I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
