i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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