If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Randomize
