if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I don't deserve a penis
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
