we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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