porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Buhtt sex?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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