fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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