She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
