I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
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