Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
