On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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