Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
