Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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