if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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