census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
