Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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