All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Randomize
