Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
