Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
