I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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