well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
