I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Someone signed my nipple.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
