yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
try to milk me bitch
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