u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
