well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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