We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
