i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
the condom got lost in my hair
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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