Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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