im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
vagina is talking i cant
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
