So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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