that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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