question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
