youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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