did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
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