idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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