then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
