TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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