I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
